So it seems that [url=http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/howard-is-a-war-criminal-zimbabwe/2007/05/17/1178995278911.html]John Howard is a war criminal[/url], or so says Zimbabwe’s Information and Publicity Minister Sikhanyiso Ndlovu.
Can you say “hypocrisy”?
In case you weren’t aware, Zimbabwe is currently going through a really, really, really crap period of government at the moment. It’s like Hitler… but black! That’s probably the easy way to explain it. The Mugabe regime is bad. Really bad. Silencing those who oppose him by way of beatings, torture or worse, rigging elections… basically being Saddam Hussein but in Zimbabwe.
He’s just your unfriendly neighbourhood dictator-man!
Anyway, this sort of story makes the news because of the way that Howard is a “war criminal”. Why — you might ask — is our useless Australian prime minister a war criminal?
Sport.
[quote]Zimbabwe’s latest attack on the Australian government comes after Mr Howard banned the one-day cricket team from touring the southern African nation this September because of the despotic regime of President Robert Mugabe.[/quote]
Shit… I don’t know. Sounds fair to me. You don’t get our cricketers on the chance that you might stop them from leaving or execute them when they beat the living hell out of your team, who you will then in turn execute for crimes against the state (not winning).
Maybe that’s a bit too cynical, but as a prize… have you done anything to deserve the cricket match, Mr. Ndlovu and Mr. Mugabe?
I mean, you’ve gotten your quelling quota up I’m sure, and how’s your [url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3493958.stm]training camp programs to teach kids how to rape and kill[/url] working out for you? Still, I don’t think you’ve done enough to convince the world that really, Mr. Mugabe ain’t such a bad evil asshole. (No. You’re not an evil genius. You’re not even insane. You’re just a big fucking jerk. Don’t petition me for a raise in rank. It ain’t gonna happen.)
Well, to help you along… I’ve written a song in 10 minutes… complete with the lyrics underneath so sing along with my piss poor timing if you want!
[b]Let’s Be Like Hitler[/b]
[i]Let’s be like Hitler
I know it’s crazy and nobody will like me and they’ll want to kill me.
But let’s be like Hitler
It’s so lazy, but my double-standards will rue the day when you try to challenge me,
let’s be like Hitler.
Let’s be like Hitler
Several beatings, and executions when you challenge my authority with stupid things like you have the right to be treated fairly
Let’s be like Hitler
Or you could be like Saddam Hussein… that’s as bad.
Or you could be like Zimbabwe’s pain… the Mugabe lad.
Either way you’ll be just like Hitler.
And I’ll
Be dead
In a ditch.[/i]
Seriously Mr. Ndlovu… cry me a fucking river. Hell, cry me a river of double standards and hypocrisy. We’ll call it the Zimbabwe-May River. You can go swim in it.