Thank you Microsoft for having what can only be described as some of the worst programmers on the face of the planet.
I saw your little yellow exclamation mark for the past week telling my I had updates to download, but I ignored it hoping it would just go away… like [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clippy]Clippy[/url]. No one liked him… her… it… [url=http://xenon.stanford.edu/~lswartz/paperclip/]no one liked that androgynous fucking paper-clip[/url] who wouldn’t leave anyone alone and you invented that too.
Well tonight (or rather this morning), I was feeling like my machine needed a reset after being left on for so long and so I figured “eh what the hey, they’ll probably help”…
But oh no… I was mistaken… for when I shut down my computer, The Prophecy of Microsoft became true the moment I turned it back on.
[b]What was meant to make things faster, made things slower:[/b] The Microsoft Lord did not know much about speed, and in failing to understand that others may have had it, with his new series of updates, he taketh it away.
You see, The Microsoft Lord obviously hasn’t learned his lesson yet. I’m not sure what lesson it is that he’s supposed to learn, but fucking with my system and making it worse through means of “updates” sure ain’t it.
I can only praise Microsoft for including a “System Restore” function that has allowed me to not yell at the computer, beat a Microsoft manual around, and start reinstalling for I can easily go back to pre-update.
And The Peasant did this and all was well, except in The House Of The Microsoft Lord where there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth from the peasants who felt a burning desire to make a martyr out of The Microsoft Lord and make [url=http://www.isc.tamu.edu/~lewing/linux/]Lord Tux[/url] their new master.
[url=http://www.apple.com]Meanwhile in another part of the universe, a fruit that had fallen into some God-Powder (like pixie-dust, only for gods) was beginning to mutate into a very nice looking fruit with a God complex…[/url]