If you're living in Australia, chances are that you'll know what it's like to have been inundated with electoral spruikers telling you who to vote for. Why just this morning I saw Turnbull twenty-somethings wearing a shirt with "Turnbull" printed on it in a classical type face holding pamphlets that were probably printed on environmentally friendly recycled mulch.
Mmm… mulch.
If you're living here, you probably know that the election was announced just a few weeks ago.
But that wasn't the official announcement.
No… we must have all been living a dream where we thought the electoral race was on. Like really on. Here we were thinking that it's time for Battle Arena Can-Ber-Ra to really get underway. Howard's killer eyebrows against Rudd's deadly "Kevin 07" shirts… all in the 3D real-time arena that can only be Battle Arena Can-Ber-Ra!!!
Hiyaaa!!! WaSaaa! Wasa! Wa-wa-hiii-yaaa– STOP! Put your game pads down. You're living in a fantasy world.
You can start the match… now.
The official announcement of the Coalition was in fact today.
So as of today, Howard and his money-snorting junkies are in this for the long haul. The two week long haul. Long, isn't it?
But wait– weren't they already in this? Who's been paying for Little Johnny to fly from place to place for the past few weeks to tell people of the good he'll do (until he steps down and lets Costello take the reigns and fuck up our country with a God complex more severe then… well… God).
Well… we have.
And today I'm putting my foot down. It stops today. Literally.
With the election now officially going for the Coalition, Howard can stop wasting our money on chasing Costello's dreams.
Handy hint for Peter Costello: write a musical about how you never came to power. It'll be seen by more people and you won't live on as "that tosser who looked too smug to do anything but be gutless"… you'll be remembered as "that tosser who looked too smug to do anything but be gutless and sang about it".
Plus, I'm sure John "<insert truth that actually is true here>" Howard and Peter "What? Me worry?!" Costello can find other ways to waste our money.
Like how about a public transport rate rise! Yes, if it wasn't bad enough that we got an interest rate rise then how about a higher price on your train fare. Sure, you know.. what the hell! An extra two bucks brings my money lost on transport to a minimum of $35 a week.
At least my service is getting better.
It is getting better… right?!
Since I already know the answer to this, let me end this with the following: God damnit.