This is something my friends and I seem to agree on:
If you’re good looking or ugly, you will get laid. If you’re average, you won’t.
This just seems to be a fact of life.
Psychology seems to indicate that perfect is what drives us. For instance, the symmetrical faces of animals like cats and dogs, plus the plush furriness of their faces and the inset eyes is what makes us go all melted and gooey on the inside. This is similar to what makes us find things beautiful for humans. Humans like symmetrical faces. We like to see beauty reflected on each side, and this I understand, hence why genetically lucky people who look like models ([url=http://www.chadwickmodels.com/compcard/955]or maybe are models[/url]) are always sort after. I’d love to have a [url=http://www.chadwickmodels.com/compcard/1306]model girlfriend[/url]. The facial features that look pristine, the eyes, the smile… everything that we’d expect to encapsulate beauty makes us gravitate towards beautiful people.
So why the hell do ugly guys get the girls? What the hell–?
Do girls look at their lives and go “ohh.. umm.. I’ve been with so many hot guys, why not try someone whose face looks like it has been kicked around several times by something that crept out of a horses fecal matter!” It just seems odd.
Maybe porn has distorted my view… no… that can’t be it, for I see beautiful girls out with guys whose faces more resemble the ass crack of an ugly rhinoceros (my apologies to rhinoceroses both ugly, regular, and gorgeous everywhere) and who seem to have the amount of respect for them as the broken cigarette hanging out of their mouth has for their lung.
[b]Broken Cigarette: [/b]Hey! Lung! Lemme in!
[i]Lung: [/i]What… why?
[b]Broken Cigarette: [/b]I wanna… hehehe… intoxicate you baby…
[i]Lung: [/i]Intoxicate me… is that some sort of a pickup line?
[b]Broken Cigarette: [/b]Why… yes… is it working?
[i]Lung: [/i]No.
[b]Broken Cigarette: [/b]Lemme in, goddamnit!
[i]Lung: [/i]Why? You’re just going to piss me off with carcinogens and other toxic chemicals.
[b]Broken Cigarette: [/b]Because I… I-I… I love you.
[i]Lung: [/i]You love me?
[b]Broken Cigarette: [/b]Bitch, what the fuck did you think I said. Shit. Yes. Okay bitch. Yes. I love you.
[i]Lung: [/i]I can’t believe what you just said. I-I… I love you too.
[b]Broken Cigarette: [/b]Cool, bitch… cool. Now let me get the fuck inside so I can intoxicate you.
[i]Lung: [/i]Okay. Let me just put some clothes on.
[b]Broken Cigarette: [/b]Shit bitch… who the fuck needs clothes when you’ve got me…
Wait… what was I on about again?
Oh yeah. Sexy girls only get with sexy guys or ugly-ass guys. Where is the middle ground? Why are average people like myself and some of my friends left in the cold waiting for girls to like us when we’re perfectly… well… average looking.
Well fear not my fellow average looking brethren because I have worked out a solution.
If you’re through waiting for that perfect hot girl and you think you’ll never get laid, put your head in a blender!*
[i]*Don’t put your head in a blender. It will hurt. Sure, you might wake up with some hot nurse waiting over you, but there’s just as much chance that you’ll wake up with some beefy bloke named “Tina” as your nurse too. Plus, you’ll be stuck looking like Picasso’s reject painting for the rest of your life and nobody likes a rejected painting… except maybe the Archibald panel… but that’s another blog entirely.[/i]