With a title like “Unforeseen consequences during masturbation”, you’d think that after orgasming my head would explode:
[i]”Well… geee… I don’t know what to put in what little baggy, cap’n… is this brain matter or is this jizz… do I go by which looks more like what Freud would expect or which has more mass to it?!”[/i]
While masturbating a few days ago — as you do… or as I do anyway… frequently… very fucking frequently… without the fucking because if I were doing that, I wouldn’t need to masturbate as frequently as I currently do… which probably wouldn’t stop me — but while masturbating a few days ago, I was getting into it with my one hand as you do… yeah… one handed style, baby… and then I started hiccuping.
It’s like… wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, [b]HICCUP[/b], wank, wank, wank, [b]HICCUP[/b].
This is not normal for me.
When I jack off, I expect to feel that whole hot and horny… whatever it is. Not my diaphragm jumping up from wherever it lives on my body and going “Well you’re certainly paying a lot of attention to [i]that[/i]!!! Screw this, I’m jumping up and having some fun too!” or something to that effect.
Because really, what you don’t want while you’re tugging the old William Shatner is for your body to just start hiccuping. It just makes you less and less in the mood.
Now I bet you’re asking yourself, wait, did he just say William Shatner? What the hell does that guy from Boston Legal who used to be that starship captain have to do with his cock?
Well, not a lot really. I just like the term. I actually respect William Shatner. Much like him, my penis can’t sing but I expect that with the help of Ben Folds, it’ll be able to put out a brilliant CD like William Shatner’s last effort. I also respect my cock. Sort of. So there’s two things. Sort of.
You should know by now that you don’t come to my site for logic.