So I didn’t post on my birthday… you can probably put it down to a combination of being tired after going out with my friends or having not much to post in the morning.
Either way… I’m posting now.
[i](Press play above to hear below!)[/i]
Sooo… it’s my birthday! It’s my birthday! Or it was! And it isn’t! But it was! No longer is! Might be next year! If I make it another year! But it isn’t! Not right now! And I’d really like something of a sexual nature sometime between my last birthday and the next one provided I make it through to the next one unless there’s some demon force of sheep and monkeys and evil queen bitches from the planet Mars that aren’t into freaky shit and don’t want to get down and jiggy and funky with me because if they were into some freaky shit and didn’t look like David Schwimmer I’d be totally down for some freaky funky jiggy shit with Queen bitches from the planet Mars!
[b]*Leigh collapses from a lack of air*[/b]
Rightio.
Oh sorry… wait.
[b]*Leigh breathes again and gets right back up*[/b]
So, it was my birthday on Wednesday… I was previously 22 and am now 23. What are the big changes? Well… I’m … uhmm… uhh… hmm… well… yep. Can’t think of any. Still not having any sex. Still not dating anyone. I’m still going bald. And I’ve still got a very small amount of people visiting this site.
[i](Press play above to hear below!)[/i]
But it’s my birthday! Or it was! On the fifteenth, baby baby! Maybe you’d like, to friggin help me! You could always donate to charity some part of your soul or vagina if you have one that you can spare! I can mold it into a Fleshlight and it could be a present to me or anyone who has a problem whereby they can’t get laid or find a girlfriend but they’ve got a bit of silicone and rubber with a nondescript slit inside, yes yes there’s a way to make sexless freaks like me happpyyyyy!!!
[b]*Leigh collapses from a lack of air*[/b]
I’ve got to stop breaking out into song & dance.
Oh yes. Dance too. I dance, baby.
I even add the word “baby” to the end of phrases, baby.
Yeah baby, baby.
So…
I got phone calls from my parents and friends on Wednesday wishing me a happy birthday. I got greetings from Mum, Dad, Nanny, Nantie, Nana, and even songs from Geoff & Bel and Dee.
Oh, if I had a recording of Geoff singing me happy birthday… why, you’d see why there’s a perfectly pointless-but-altogether-ridiculous explanation to why I’m known for occasionally breaking out in a random song & dance in this post.
Anyway, I got a few pressies from my family and I knew that later on in the day I’d be going out with my friends for dinner to celebrate my birthday.
I was also shooting my friends’ work in Uni who were finishing that year. Ferdie and Adele needed their artworks shot so I’ve come to the rescue (crap phrasing, but all I can think of) and have taken a fair amount of images of their works, even coming up with the idea of taking panorama’s of their studios so they can remember exactly what it looked like. Well, not their studios per se, but rather their workspaces where their final works were put up.
Regardless, afterwards, it was pretty much me walking with Ferdie down to the Starbucks on Oxford St. where I’d meet up with the gorgeous Greek goddess Skevi. Ferdie was already on his way down to Kings Comics to pick up the newest Astonishing X-Men, but I was meeting Skevi at Starbucks because that’s where we were waiting for and meeting everyone else who was going to show up.
I ordered a Gingerbread Frappucino. It was gingerbread-y, but wasn’t all that good. It’s Starbucks. Short of their Green Tea Frappucino (which is little more than a Green Tea Ice Cream milkshake) and Chai Tea Frappucino, I’ve found that most Starbucks specialty drinks miss the mark of being anything other than ordinary.
In fact, the Oxford St. store seems to constantly and consistently have the pleasure of being the only store that will end up giving my stomach and bowels a good going through later on that night, thus making me think that they’re using slightly off milk.
The next Metamucil ad should indicate a trip to Starbucks. Cross promotions or something.
Anyway, Skevi had a slice of caramel cheesecake (after much deliberating on whether it should be a caramel slice or a slice of caramel cheesecake) and we got our drinks (they screwed up her order and gave her a hot coffee drink as opposed to an icy one) and we talked and waited and then Margaret showed up.
Margaret had come from work just then. You see she’s a Santa photographer.
How cool is that? She gets to see Santa every day!
Anyway, she brought me a Myer Bear and some big jellybeans and black pussycats (the aniseed kind), as well as a donut, for me for my birthday. Them’s good pressies to get for someone who knows me and who knows that in Uni, I loved my jellybeans and licorice stuffs.
So Margaret came and she and Skevi and I chilled and talked. Margaret wasn’t to be staying for dinner. BJ wasn’t coming at all because she had gotten food poisoning the night prior at her sister’s graduation, which isn’t any good. But alas.
Then Dee showed up, and I got a Captain Bear. He has a name… somewhere in my backpack on a folded tag.
But more importantly, he had a threaded loop-of-a-hook on his hand which would let me attach him to the hook that was going through the lanyard attached to the Myer Bear. Already, I had two bears. Two bears that were attached to each other. Two bears in Darlinghurst. Two bears.
And then Margaret left. She had to go see her boyfriend.
A few minutes later, Emily showed up.
A bit of talking afterwards, we all agreed that we were hungry, and I was getting a little tired of stirring my melting milky ice around with a Starbucks see-through straw, so we left… [b]to Betty’s![/b]
But first, some wine!
After the training Stubbsy has provided me with, I have a vague idea of the sort of wine I like and also of the sort of wine that a bottle will be when I see it in a store. I settled on a Brown Brothers 2004 oaked Chardonnay for around 15-16 dollars that was really very nice. It didn’t go well with what I ended up eating, mind you, but once that was washed down, any acid-y feelings of indigestion would just dissolve with them and I could go back to enjoying the wine with my friends.
That said, I intend on finding that wine somewhere cheaper (or maybe not) and buying some to keep for myself.
We then went to Betty’s.
You might not know Betty’s. It’s basically the old art school eatery for people who like some somewhat wholesome food that’s warm & friendly. Yes, the food is warm and friendly. It just gets put right in front of you and says “eat me”.
The waiters are fun and gay and quite enthusiastic. You can’t be a restaurant critic at Betty’s and be expecting the most perfect restaurant experience in food and enjoyment. It’s one of those places you just have to love, however, as it’s just nice and cozy and open if you’re part of art school’s Bohemian sort-of-vibe-ish-crowd.
So we got there with Dee & Skevi & Emily and the bottle of wine with a cork top (not [url=http://www.wineoftheweek.com/screwcaps/history.html]a stelvin[/url]) and the two bears who were attached to a lanyard that was attached to me and one of the gay guys made the comment that he’d have to get the cork screw out to which I replied that it’s already the beginning of the night and already you’re getting a screw with two bears, which made the girls laugh. Or giggle. One of them. Maybe both. I can’t remember. It’s been a few days now.
So we had dinner. I had nachos. Skev had sausages which were probably bangers and mash but I’ve got no idea what she ordered from memory. I know it had sausages in it, though. Emily had the spaghetti and Dee… I can’t remember what she had. Soup maybe?
Bugger. I need to write my blogs closer to the day they happened.
Anyway… there was talk and laughter and random bits of stuff with lots of stupid comments made by me (what else did you expect) as well as stupid and pointless sexual comments made by me (seriously, what else did you expect) because while I’m always hopeful, I know my luck and my friends are my friends…
So after the talk and the music and the food, Skev wants to go to a sex shop. I’m cool for that. I’m male. And naturally horny.
It’s a Scorpio thing. Seriously, go find a Scorpio and find out how horny we are from them. Male or female. Our obsession with sex isn’t so much that we’re obsessed like most people… it’s just that, we really seem to be enthusiastic about it.
Even the waiter at Betty’s (the guy with longish hair and a Spanish-y sort of accent) said that Scorpio’s are the best lovers.
And if he said it, well shit… it must be true! Any takers? Any? No? Okay… moving on…
So we walked in the cold (because a cold front had moved in) to Kaos on Oxford near Taylor Square.
I think that Skev had actually wanted to go to the Tool Shed near Betty’s. She, BJ, and myself had been to that one before and it had quite a large selection. Compare this to Kaos where the selection was small and while there were some interesting things, the place felt more like it was dying and needed a good clean. They had a Fleshlight that just looked… wrong. I’d have taken a picture, but I imagine it would have scared the hell out of me if I woke up to find that picture on my phone the next morning.
What else was there? Well, there was a giant fist and arm that you could use as a dildo, somewhat inexpensive DVD porn, and a penis made out of soap-on-a-rope… to which I imagine must come in especially useful when either you’re trying to clean out your rectum, vagina, or are recreating a violent jail anal rape scene. But(t) mostly, the place felt more like it catered to gay porn. Not that this is a problem or entirely unexpected as it is near Darlinghurst… but this place once had two levels and now it’s compressed to one tiny-assed (no pun intended… okay… maybe pun intended) room. Come on (pun intended there)…
The Tool Shed store I’d visited previously was much, much better. It at least had an S&M section and vibrators, vibrators, vibrators! It was an adult store whereas Kaos was more like an adult convenient store without anything all that convenient.
And we left. We looked at the porn, us four we did. No one bought anything. It either didn’t look all that good or it looked old and dusty or the place just wasn’t that nice to be in.
I also don’t imagine I’d need anything in the place. Sure, they sell rubber heads and vaginas, but I’ve got a hand. If I need to get off on my birthday or any other day for that matter, I’ll do it with my hand. It may not be preferential, but it’s something and it won’t cost me 200 or 300 bucks for the privilege.
And that was it. We left. It was cold. Dee and I said a quick g’bye to Em & Skev as the lights changed and we headed down in the cold to her car. Dee gave me a lift home (to which she’s always nice enough and generous enough to do) and I pretty much came in and collapsed. And then turned on my computer and did stuff on it.
It was an interesting birthday. I’m glad I have friends of whom I can rely on to go out with me when I can’t actually think of anything else to do.
While I’d normally otherwise stay inside on my birthday, I can only imagine how much boring and depressing it would’ve been if I’d have just stayed inside.
Thanks :)