…and yet it’s daytime.
Somehow I always think of “Christmas Eve” as being night time.
I’d love to think of “Christmas Eve” as some hot naked chick who ditched Adam to spend it with me as ordered by her God whom I don’t happen to believe in.
Most people find me a bit weird at the moment. I’ve become prone to wearing my Santa Hat everywhere I go. No one’s asked me yet, but it’s for two reasons:
1. I can make people smile at it. Sure, some dickheads think I’m a retard for wearing it. Some think I’m insecure. I think they’re wasting their Christmas season by not being happier or trying to promote the jolly-crap that goes around.
And not herpes or anything. That’s crap that goes around from being happy and with someone who won’t tell you. That’s just shit.
and…
2. It’s a hat. A festive hat. Happy Chanukah! No one makes a Chanukah Hat. It’d probably be heavy. I could probably do it with four pairs of antler headbands, but it’s be very heavy. And dangerous.
I have actually made a few people smile as a result of the Santa Hat wearing. Most were female. Even my Mum has no problems with me wearing it.
My brother does. His problem, I guess. He needs to be more jolly.
I’m being jolly. I’m trying out this whole “jolly” thing.
As a Jew, most people seem to be surprised of the type of beliefs I have. I adopted them last year and I think I am the only one of my own religion… [b]for I am a Distorted Jew.[/b]
What’s a “Distorted Jew” you may ask? Well go on then. Ask.
A “Distorted Jew” (which is something I made up last year, but it works) is someone (like me) who believes that Santa rides a menorah shaped sleigh with eight candle shaped reindeer who, for each of the eight nights he’s delivering crap, sets one of the reindeer on fire.
It’s like Christmas, but with arson.
And since I’m setting fire to traditional beliefs and practices, here’s my Christmas Card (although belated) with my own special message for this year…
[url=https://www.leighlo.com/uploads/random/2006/4×6-LeighXmasFinal.jpg][img]https://www.leighlo.com/uploads/random/2006/4×6-LeighXmasFinalSmall.jpg[/img][/url]
[i]Click on the image for a bigger version![/i]
[b]Happy Birthday Jesus![/b]
(My people killed you but you’re still invited to the BBQ)