It’s [i]that[/i] time again… and by again I mean for the first time because it’s never happened and christ I hope I never have to resort to this sort of bullshit on my blog…
It’s time for…
[b]CELEBRITY BULLSHIT!!![/b]
Yes ladies and gentlemen or whoever else visits this place, it’s time for some commentary on some of the weeks’ most fucked up bullshit relating to celebrities because this week, there’s just too much of the stuff to resist NOT writing a blog on it.
Sad too, because I’d prefer to be writing about something interesting… like [url=http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/shuttle/main/index.html]the NASA shuttle launch[/url] or how [url=http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/mars/news/mgs-20061206.html]we’ve found water on Mars[/url]… but as it happens, that ain’t news… no… fuck that.
[url=http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/12/09/1165081185779.html]This is news.[/url] Sorry, wait… that’s Bindi. Shit, she’s back… and better than ever… and she’s news… at least she’s news according to the “current affairs” programs. It’s probably a good thing that Today Tonight and A Current Affair don’t govern what is actually considered news and what isn’t otherwise we might all actually have to start giving a shit about Bindi Irwin.
[b]Pauly Shore[/b] made it into the news this week… for what reason? Seriously, I don’t fucking know. It’s probably considered news that someone thought he was funny enough to be put in a comedy club (and for all of you who bought tickets… shame on you)… but then someone got smart enough and did the right thing. When you “do the right thing”, you take the trash out… and [url=http://www.fucd.com/index.php?link=1219]that’s exactly what this watcher did[/url] metaphorically speaking, of course. Yeah, we all laughed at one point or another at a Pauly Shore movie. Hell, I even liked Son In Law (Encino Man doesn’t count… he had a minor role). But Pauly Shore as a comedian… what the fuck?! That’s like Mel Gibson playing the part of a rabbi… now wait a minute…
[b]Paris Hilton[/b] seems to be very interested in showing the world that’s she’s drunk, stupid, and a slut.
I’ve got no problem with that. She could show me. I’d be happy to use her like the sperm toilet that she is. She certainly looks like she’d be frisky enough… hell, [url=http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/slideshow/slideshow3.php?slideshow=232733091206&showimg=16]she’ll even play with her sister for the cameras![/url]
I wonder, is the Hilton family a bit worried that people are going to think that by staying at a Hilton hotel, you’re going to end up more stupid than when you went in? Would it make some people hate The Hilton’s? It sounds a bit like The Walton’s, “The Hilton’s”, yet I don’t see Paris or Nicky being anywhere near as friendly as people would perceive The Walton’s to be. Still, even with as many people as sick and tired of Paris Hilton, [url=http://hollywood-celebrities.blogspot.com/2006/12/stavros-niarchos-family-dont-like-paris.html]the list still grows[/url].
That said, I want to go to a Hilton hotel and expect that there’s a Hilton sister [i]as[/i] my bed. It’d probably be sticky and covered in thousands of others men’s cum, but that’s probably no different to a bed at a hotel anyway… they just wash it out with some potent detergent.
You know what… maybe that’s what the Hilton sisters need! Potent fucking detergent! Cleans out pussy with one wash! (Paris’ might need six or seven washes for how much cock she’s probably had…)
Speaking of pussy, [b]Britney Spears[/b] has just fucked up big time. She has given the world pictures of her pussy… and [url=http://www.crazysexybabes.com/gallery/britney-spears]we don’t even have to pay[/url] five lousy bucks for a copy of Playboy. Tisk tisk, Britney. I guess it doesn’t help that you’re not so bright and that you’re getting dumber since your new best friend is the same Hilton that makes the city of romance in Europe ashamed of its name.
Wait, are [url=http://www.crazysexybabes.com/gallery/britney-spears/TIWpbritney_upskirt_07]you with her in the car[/url] at the same place your that your [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overprotected]overprotected[/url] bit has just had its first international and public (I should probably say pubic) shots at?
Well, I have to say a nice big thanks to you, Britney. You’ve just made a lot of men really happy.
Women, I trust your men are locked up in their bathrooms with a “do not disturb unless you want to know the meaning of bukkake” signs attached to the door or their knobs in some fashion.
And by “their knobs” I meant either the door knobs or their dicks.
To finish up this set of completely random bullshit celebrity news, we hear that [url=http://imdb.com/title/tt0377092/]Mean Girl Lindsay Lohan[/url] is [url=http://rumorficial.com/2006/12/12/lindsay-lohan-has-been-attending-strip-classes-with-her-mother/]taking classes for her future career[/url] should no one hire her after [url=http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,,20860420-5006009,00.html]the alcohol abuse[/url], “that girl from American Pie” [url=http://imdb.com/name/nm0005346/]actress Tara Reid[/url] loses more brain cells and dignity after [url=http://www.drunkhollywood.com/2006/12/13/drunk-tara-reid/]being spotted with Paris Hilton[/url]… sorry… I meant she was drunk… well… they both suck…, and Jim Carrey and Jennifer Lopez [url=http://www.falseicon.com/ennifer-lopez-and-jim-carrey-converts-to-scientology/]become dumb and dumber[/url].
Each of these stories is a shame because I happen to like Lohan and think she’s a capable (she’s not necessarily good, but she looks like she’ll get better) actress as well as being incredibly gorgeous… she’s just making some fucking stupid decisions and needs to wake up (see what fame and money brings you?), Tara Reid may be drunk but she shouldn’t lower herself to being in the dumbfuck club with Paris Hilton, and I happen to like Jim Carrey as a comedian and an actor… I’m not going to make a comment regarding Scientology because I think the “religion” is a load of crap, but it’s his choice and I can respect that… it’s kind of disheartening to hear an actor and comedian you like might have fallen for what I would consider to be a load of nonsense, more so than an actual religion especially when this “religion” has more or less been written by a failed science-fiction writer.
What’s even more depressing about this post is that I’m so desperate to write about something is that I’m writing about fucking celebrities.