All posts in Technology

Review Updates V

Part five. Part bloody five. <– I'm actually ripping off a part from a Sega Saturn magazine with that line where they were talking about a hentai Mahjong game for the Saturn called Super Real Mahjong Part Five.

They went "Part five? Part bloody five!" or something to that extent.

Actually, the Super Real Mahjong game series went for quite a few games so it's not a lie.

Anyway, here are some more things that aren't lies. They're truths… of sorts… and are criticisms and game reviews. Enjoy!

 

Gadgets:

Games:

Coming up in the next update, I should have reviews for the Lenovo X300, an HP tablet, a bunch more games, and finally the D300 review!

Expressing Myself-ish

Recently, HP sent me an invite to one of their new product launches (which I actually went to today) but seeing as though they wanted to give off the impression of creativity, they sent me (and whoever else received the invite) some magnetic letters.

Now I'm not someone to leave a toy alone. Especially a toy like magnetic letters.

So ever since we got them, I've been playing with the letters and making daily phrases on them.

Usually while I'm waiting for a driver to install or something.

Anyway, here are some of the ways I'm expressing myself!

I wonder if Steve Ballmer is Vista Ready… he's probably only barely Vista Capable…

Geeze, that'll be the scariest day in history: if Microsoft start indexing people based off of that whole Vista Experience thing… *shudders* 

Review Updates IV

Wow. Look at all my January reviews! I rock! Yeah, baby! Yeah! 😛

I've actually got a couple more, believe it or not. An Advance Wars: Dark Conflict / Days of Ruin review and a Ghost Squad review, but because of how I set up reviews on date releases and because I lack an Australian date for Advance Wars, I'm delaying them slightly. I should also be done with a Geometry Wars review for the Wii today.

So yeah. Lots of reviews. Go nuts.

I sure do. 

Technology:

 

Games:

Editorials & Articles:

 

 

The Industry’s Best Load Of Crap! (Well… maybe)

I put up my review of the DataWind PocketSurfer 2 today on Cyber Shack mostly because I got around to adding the paragraph since I'm writing a whole ton of reviews this week. Should be an Endless Ocean review written tomorrow and hopefully an Uncharted one by the end of the week.

Anyway, as I was linking through their site (as we do in all Cyber Shack reviews) I found a bit on their page that said "Click here to learn more about the world's best thumb keyboard". When you click there, you're greeted with a page telling you about "The Industry's Best Thumb Keyboard"… uh huh.
Sure… no offense DataWind but…

What the fuck?!

What reviewer said that? Please tell me so I can take their hands off of the dry ice block and throw them into a furnace… that'll give them feeling once again and they'll be able to feel with their very own sense of touch what is quite possibly one of The Industry's Worst Keyboards.

Seriously… while I still love the idea behind the PocketSurfer 2… it's an absolutely awful keyboard.

And what the hell? You're just stealing the Motorola Razr design with laser etched keys. How can you call your keyboard better if it actually has less tactile feedback than the Razr one (which actually IS decent).

It gets worse.

I quite like how you (DataWind) have highlighted for everyone the words "generous tactile response" in your little puff piece.

What "generous tactile response" do you speak of? The sort that doesn't exist or the piss-all feedback that exists on the few buttons.

Okay, sure… your keys are bigger. They're also crappier.

You can't just say something on your official webpage like "The Industry's Best" or "The World's Best" without having some sort of a quote from someone in the industry.

Go on. Find someone who'll say that about the PocketSurfer's keyboard who:

  1. Writes for a tech publication (either online or offline)
  2. Isn't related to anyone working at or associated with DataWind
  3. Isn't on the company payroll in any form.
  4. Isn't an amputee (I mean no offense to any amputees with this comment either).

If you can satisfy all of those with someone providing that quote, then maybe I can grant you that… but you can't make a statement like that on a page without any proof.

That's like me saying I have the best shorts in all the world. I'm sure there'd be a few people who'd want to know why.

Seriously, here are some of the things you say that I'd like some quotes for telling us that this is anything other than marketing crap:

  • "With generous tactile response, it makes thumb-typing fast, easy and error-resistant." — I think we've covered this one. Error-resistant my ass.
  • "It offers one of the fastest text entry mechanism, available in a handheld device." — Err… no.
  • "Power of a monster server in  the palm of your hand " – I'm going to have to say no to this.
  • "Real HTML  pages,  graphics, java  scripts….no compromises ! " – Sure, except for where it compromises on animation speed, graphic rendering, the inability to run simple forms on HTML pages…

Yes… the difference is obvious…

You're full of crap. Stop speaking in tongues, DataWind. I liked the concept, I still like the concept… but I hate your marketing BS. I really hate that sort of crap.

Review Updates III

Let's tie up some loose ends for the year. We've got some unfinished business to deal with.

You've been a bad blog… let me just get the ropes, the whips, the nylon spandex that we'll used to tie your blog wrists to the bedposts. You're gonna stay there while I make you my bitch, you're going to– err… I'm talking dirty to my blog. You know I've lost it if I'm there.

Bugger that.

Here are the reviews for the end of the year that I need to resolve.

Gadgets & Gear

Games

…and wrapping up reviews by my brother at the Cyber Shack, one final piece for all you iPod lovers… 😛

Reviewed by Michael Stark