All posts in Sex

One year on

Can you believe it's been one year since I started this blog? Geeze, if you were one of the original two or three people paying attention, you might have spent almost a million characters of your ocular reading time on me.

I'm flattered. Really, I am.

And to celebrate this special anniversary, I've done something I hear a lot of parents do. Proud parents of kids apparently get their booties or shoes bronzed. Why? I honestly have no clue. What could bronzing of footwear do for a memory that photos can't.

Regardless, I'm not that cheap. I'll go for gold… and gold I have because I've decided to gold plate my first post!

So there it is… my gold-plated brand spankin'… err… old… first… post… thingy.

And this is the year in review. One year on… what have I learned, what haven't I learned, what have I decided to launch in a catapult to go hurtling at the nearest large and most depressing object… well… I'll tell you. 

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Hard To Get

I'm only now just learning about a game. For a game reviewer like myself, this is seen as mostly unheard of as I should know about every game.

Me not knowing the game isn't entirely true however as I have heard of it in passing. I know others play it and it's mainly targeted at people aged 13-99. Wide age gap I know, but it's unlike any game I'll ever review.

And since I'm not currently in the midst of reviewing it, I feel the need to write a preview on it. Sure, it's been out for a while but I feel like someone should write a preview of this game based on knowledge and facts and other useful tidbits that Juliet is trying to teach me.

So here it is.

Preview: Hard To Get (Real Life)

Most games have a requirement of some sort of computer or video game system. For instance, Halo 3 currently requires an Xbox 360, Heavenly Sword needs a PlayStation 3, and Supreme Commander makes you suck the lightning out of God's nipples using you as the conduit to power your terribly slow computer.

And then there's one game you can play that doesn't need the highest spec PC or the most expensive and brilliant piece of gaming technology on the planet. All you need to play that game is a passing interest in someone you fancy. Continue Reading

Nip Tac

While I was wandering around in Coles today, I saw something I'd never seen before. A new type of Tic Tac.

Now everybody has had a Tic Tac before. It's more or less sacriligous to not have a Tic Tac. If you've never had a Tic Tac though, get your ass out to a 7/11 and spend the measly one buck or so it takes to enjoy the orange mint goodness. The orange one's the best in case you're curious.

Anyway, there was this new Tic Tac variety. Now I've been burned by the new Tic Tac thing before. The last "new" type to come out was "Passionfruit Mint" and it had about as much in common with passionfruit or mint as a hamster has in common with a rectal probe… which might explain why some people actually enjoyed the flavour.

In any case, Ferrero have come out with a brand new flavour. It is…

Tropical Acerola!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, get ready to fire up those taste-buds because Summer is here in the Tic Tac Summer Edition packs starting with Tropical Acerola. Now I don't have a clue what an "acerola " is. They're not exactly local. But here's the box to make it easier for you to find them…

 

Trop-i-cal Ac-er-o-la… doesn't seem hard. And it sure looks pretty… but my mind isn't so simple. I won't just look at something and accept it for the face value. No, my mind tends to see something and interpret it in a way that no one probably has… or probably should in this case…

I saw that and immediately went "what the fuck?!" and bought it… because my mind saw…

 

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Cacophony of Contiki

I have just been informed that the Contiki tours are usually a cacophony (my words, not theirs… whoever it is…) of alcohol, sex, and drugs while you go touring the world.

Shit. I really need to go. Emphasis on need

Now I want to go to New Orleans, Antarctica, Hong Kong, Japan, and Italy most of all. What are the chances that they have a tour matching those sorts of areas…

Breast-Man

If there's one thing I came away with from working at the World Cyber Games this past weekend it's… a new affinity for breasts.

Well, that and exhaustion.

But a new affinity for the female reproductive organ that raises eyebrows and cocks at every turn is the one thing that I now have.

You might say "well Leigh, you're a male and an overly horny one at that. I'm quite surprised that you previously didn't already want to fondle the breasts of every thing you'd come in contact with."

But to that I say… well… no.

I'm not normally a "breast" man. I kind of like belly buttons, eyes, laughs… but breasts never really did it for me. I can't exactly say why. All I know is that I just didn't care. So what if you had breasts, I wanted to see your belly button and hear you giggle.

About a year ago, I was an ass and thigh man. I liked the shape of asses and the tone of thighs. Can't really say why, once again. I just did. If you had a hot ass and sexy thighs, I wanted to fuck you more than I wanted to listen to an Imogen Heap cd… and I really like Imogen Heap.

So now… I like breasts.

And what's the catalyst for this new desire to look at the female extension of… well… the chest?

The girls of WCG. The booth babes. The promo girls. Hot females in skimpy ass polyester and spandex strutting their stuff pretending to give a damn about the product they're wearing when we all know they're just doing a job no different to when we'd do a job. Except they look better doing it.

And probably that too.

Yes, the unzipped top area of those females was certainly enough to force me to develop strong feelings for breasts.

Mmmm… breasts.