Skinny crack whores that ask for money

Well that's a first. I've never been approached by a skinny crack whore asking for money before.

Not me. Not me in my swanky hat and vintage tanned jacket with a slightly daggy striped Country Road shirt hanging a little too loosely over my crispy blue Kenji Urban low-riding jeans. 

Not me coming home from work and walking through the city after buying myself some newer clothes to look more presentable than I did that moment.

And yet there one was, walking alongside of me as I walked past the French Connection on Pitt Street towards Martin Place. She walked up beside me quickly; I must have looked like an easy target.

"Are you from Sydney?" she started, a voice from out of nowhere coming from this strange heap of flesh that I guess could resemble a woman if you perhaps squinted through broken glasses and sneezed backwards twice.

"Yup," I replied continuing my walk.

"God, I feel like such an idiot for asking this," she babbled on, stumbling over words that she didn't really care about in the first place. I just replied "don't be" and she went on.

"I'm from Melbourne and I've just arrived in Sydney," she said, her sucked-in cheeks looking like used condom wrappers against flesh with too much foundation. She was probably a twenty-something or an early thirty-something, but she could have passed for a withering sixty year old decaying rocker jumping out of her last pornographic film not three minutes ago. 

"I feel silly asking this," she said again, but asked anyway. "My car has stopped on Clarence St; do you have any change?"

I kept on walking and said "sorry, I don't have any money on me," a freshly packed Industrie bag hanging off of my right hand speaking the contrary.

"Not even any coins?" she asked. 

Desperation… riiiiigghhhhttt… I must have looked like an easy target. I just walked on. Her pleasant ass-kissing attitude changed as quickly as I'd ever seen one when she immediately said "well I thought you looked like a bum" and turned around pacing back.

A bum? Geeze. I don't want to give a skinny crack whore who can't apply make-up money and I look like a bum? 

Wow. That hurts, skinny crack whore. That really fucking hurts.

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1 Comment
  • Anonymous

    ah ha ha Leigh you made my afternoon always good for a laugh ha ha ha ha… I think I peed my pants!!!!!!!! love you!!! xox

    12:26 am September 23, 2008 Reply
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