While I sit here and download ridiculously large amounts of porn as if my hands were the vaginal lips and the web was a massive studded vibrator, I realise that I'm probably going to shell out another random 50 bucks for another even more random subscription to RedHotPie.
Not that it did anything last time. I met a girl once and nothing resulted.
Hell, we rarely speak at all and we didn't even have sex. Geeze.
I can talk to girls in real life but I can't seem to get any of them remotely interested in me for anything other than the words I have to say.
Or my Santa hat.