While I was wandering around in Coles today, I saw something I'd never seen before. A new type of Tic Tac.
Now everybody has had a Tic Tac before. It's more or less sacriligous to not have a Tic Tac. If you've never had a Tic Tac though, get your ass out to a 7/11 and spend the measly one buck or so it takes to enjoy the orange mint goodness. The orange one's the best in case you're curious.
Anyway, there was this new Tic Tac variety. Now I've been burned by the new Tic Tac thing before. The last "new" type to come out was "Passionfruit Mint" and it had about as much in common with passionfruit or mint as a hamster has in common with a rectal probe… which might explain why some people actually enjoyed the flavour.
In any case, Ferrero have come out with a brand new flavour. It is…
Tropical Acerola!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, get ready to fire up those taste-buds because Summer is here in the Tic Tac Summer Edition packs starting with Tropical Acerola. Now I don't have a clue what an "acerola " is. They're not exactly local. But here's the box to make it easier for you to find them…
Trop-i-cal Ac-er-o-la… doesn't seem hard. And it sure looks pretty… but my mind isn't so simple. I won't just look at something and accept it for the face value. No, my mind tends to see something and interpret it in a way that no one probably has… or probably should in this case…
I saw that and immediately went "what the fuck?!" and bought it… because my mind saw…
Tropical Areola! Yes, the new flavour that will have you smacking that tongue for a nip-tastic lashing!
Seriously, who wouldn't want a Nip Tac. All the added flavour of nipples without needing to romance or spend more than a couple of bucks. It's like finding a cheap whore that you actually do want to spend time with.
Nip Tac's. Great huh?!