Trains are complicated.
If it wasn't bad enough that the people "running" them can barely get them running on time without needing to resort to claiming a fare rise, then the language you have to learn to use them will tell you of its difficulty.
There is one language for riding trains that you must be aware of. You can speak English, Japanese, French, Arabic… Whatever the hell you want, but make sure you know The Language Of Not Being An Asshole.
It probably won't surprise you but the majority of people out there are assholes. They're not especially cruel or irritating people, but they're also assholes in the same right.
So now you're asking "well Leigh, how does one adopt this language of Not Being An Asshole?"
Well it's actually quite simple.
When it's time for a horde of people to get off of the train and you're standing in front of the doors, move out of the way. It really doesn't seem like a lot to ask. You even get instructions from the repeating messages to "allow passengers to alight before boarding the train."
So as I'm getting off the train, I actually want to be able to leave the train without having to part ways with my testicles as a large mob of people stand in your way convinced if they stand there, it'll make the whole process just that much quicker.
Coincidentally, they are a bunch of tools and I am reinventing the word "alight" to suit their stupidity.
For all intents and purposes (well my purposes anyway) "Alight" now means "get the fuck out of my way".
So whether you're someone who stands in front of the doors as people are leaving in order to claim that terribly vital seat your life depends on or whether you're one of the irritating sods that clumps in the main cabin without moving and stops those of us who need to get out from leaving, this one's for you:
Alight, bitch!