It’s a question of knowledge, boy; the type of knowledge you need for life,
It’s teachers, you see, that give us that type of knowledge you need for life —
History, well, that’s what started it off —
And if they also give us a high level of boredom
That’s their job, not a fringe benefit, a game of Russian roulette
Likely to hand out a victim a trip to the morgue.
Without teachers, let’s face it, a school is completely hopeless,
And these days, it’s bad for a kid to be completely hopeless in
Anything at all —
Math:
Well, son, you do need to know how to count.
One woman plus one woman plus one woman does equal five women and a lot of
Pleasure.
English:
You do need know how to speak English so you can tell your girlfriend how beeeyouteeful she is.
Science:
Boy, let me tell you that you don’t want to mix alkeehol and fire together.
History:
Who gives a damn about those old buggers in the past that you have to learn about?
No one! Ignore it. They piss me off anyway.
Art:
You do want to learn about how good jigsaw puzzles look once they’re finished, don’t you?
It’s an annoying school, son.
You not learning anything in school? Oh, well the teachers
Are on the advice of their big brother, the principal,
That they can’t teach you a damned thing or else they’d
Slap the shit out of each other.