I was looking at one of my MySpace Friends’ blogs (MySpace Friend is a stupid term… I’d take “blog buddy” over it) and she was talking about Beyonce and how good of a singer and actress and how hot she was. So one of [url=http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=52161106&blogID=181821586&MyToken=448130bf-2099-40f4-9483-01f285700cb6]her blog buddies said “She has a body like a melted down snickers”[/url] which prompts my brain to come up with the following:
If a woman is just a melted down chocolate bar, then that explains the lumps on her chest!
The lumps are actually just bits of chocolate, nuts, caramel, or nougat, depending on what chocolate bar you’re eating.
It also explains why I have a burning desire to nibble on breasts. It isn’t the intimacy that’s making me want to devour them, but rather that my Spidey sense is tingling to tell me where the closest amount of chewy and chocolatey globule of sheer delight is waiting for me to jump right in!
It is, however, a curious thing that without this knowledge that a girls breasts might actually contain nuts in it because it is usually only a man’s fantasy to get nuts anywhere near a girl’s pair of breasts. It would be, in that case, his nuts… but it’s still a nut-ologist’s dream regardless of the nut in question.
Unless of course it’s The Nutjob of Gauge.
Okay, we’ve been through this, I know. The Nutjob of Gauge is little more than a fantasy, much like most men bringing their nuts anywhere in close proximity to a girl’s breasts.
Still, a combination of The Nutjob of Gauge and a melted down Sexy Snickers Shag Slut might be just the thing that the doctor ordered.
This doctor would then lose his job for even advocating such a bizarre measure for getting rid of the cold. I must get their number!