SWM Seeks FTIDALG

Single White Male Seeks Female That Isn’t Dead And Likes Geeks

Good luck to me and may I have better luck for the near future for my quest.

Don’t worry. You read that right. It doesn’t make any sense, and I’m not entirely sure whether I’m capable of making sense at 2:22 in the morning.

A Friday morning, for that matter.

How long will it be before the Saint of monetary values, St. George, sends me a message by way of the great wireless tin can telling me how little of that monetary amount I have left in my account.

That might be one reason as to why I can’t get the womens: no money.

That doesn’t matter to this chick.

She’s happy to share her room in Japan with any white guys under the age of 35 provided she can have sex with them. Well, yeah… sure… I mean, sex is a very depressing thing and surely I should leave parts of myself at the lobby in case an ethereal nun floats on by and wants to beat me with a bible… but you know, what the fuck! In fact… let’s just get rid of the “what the” altogether, Keiko! Let’s just fuck!

Her fascination with people’s kidneys and waking up in a bath-tub without one concerns me slightly.

I mean sure, if I were to sleep with a hot Asian lady and get room & board included in the price, I’d expect to have to pay for something… but a kidney is worth far more than 25 bucks (that’s 2,245 yen for you, Keiko) so in my mind… I’m getting ripped off.

I mean hell, for a kidney, I’d want to be getting my money’s worth. A blowjob and fucking for the price of a kidney should at the very least come with a video of the event and a shirt to let people know[/url] that you did the deed and all you got was this lousy fucking t-shirt (and one less kidney).

Seriously, short of this whole thing being one big joke, where are the girls in Australia that advertise like this?

You don’t see advertisements in the classified section of the Sydney Morning Herald saying “20 yr old law student seeks roommate she can fuck the brains out of” do you? I mean, I’d have no chance with them, mind you.

Oh no, it’s not that I doubt myself in that way.
With an ad like that, I doubt I’d be able to get through over the phone… the lines would be packed and I’d have to see her in person, and if I tracked her down, I’d be considered a stalker, and shit… I’m just too lazy for shit like that.

Plus, being a stalker to a law student wouldn’t be all that fun.
If she’s a lawyer who gets her rocks off putting crims like yourself away, you’d only get to hear about her orgasm ten minutes later after you’re sentenced to prison sitting in lock-up waiting for a decent meal.

Then you could try to put a similar ad out based on conjugal visits.