I found a use for “You’ll Love Coles”‘s Diet Cola.
I mean, yeah, you’ll still hate “‘You’ll Love Coles”‘s Diet Cola, and you’ll probably hate every other variant from the “You’ll Love Coles” brand of drinks. In fact, the assertion that you’ll love them because of their “You’ll Love Coles” brand of products might just make you hate Coles permanently.
But regardless, I found out what could be the only way that Lachlan is enjoying that “awesome taste” that Coles’ budget Diet Cola.
Yes, it tastes more like ass, but obviously you’re very unlikely to buy cola branded “RimJob Cola” (okay, maybe you might… it’s bound to taste better than [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R.C._Cola]RC Cola…[/url]) likewise are you likely to drink this stuff by itself.
Unless you’re my Dad.
(He says it’s not [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepsi_Samba]as bad as Pepsi Samba[/url]. I’m not too sure. It’s pretty fucking bad.)
Still, I digress.
What you need to do to make Coles’ Diet-Ass Cola is… mix it with [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malibu_Rum]Malibu![/url]
Yes, that’s right! It’s so simple!
You need a 30 dollar product to make a 99 cent product taste better, and you get an added bonus of getting drunk FREE!
We’re actually having a Wiki-fest with all of those links and references, but before I go nuts and link you to another Wiki in case you don’t know what something is, I’m going to say how I came to this recipe…
You see, I was talking about alcohol with a friend of mine — Iva — over the phone… and while I was pulling out the Absinthe and trying to find out what liquor I had left, I took a gander and saw that I had Malibu.
I’m lying here. I know I have Malibu. I rarely drink the stuff.
Still, I’ve always liked Malibu and Diet Coke, so I figured… what the fuck. It’s not like I’ve got anything left to lose.
The last time I swapped spit with Lachlan’s “awesome taste” Diet Cola, I’m pretty sure I singed half of my flavour nodules on my tongue, so it’s not as if I was wasting anything.
Regardless, it’s not bad. It’s acceptable if you’re a cheap drunk.
And by cheap, I of course mean cheap enough to spend 30 bucks on white rum flavoured with coconut and 99 cents on awful cola.
Why you’d do this? Buggered if I know. I only offer the recipe.
Will Lachlan be the next Jamie Oliver? God I hope not.