Exe-telling you where you can go

We’re having a party! It’s a party for censorship! And who’s in the main fray of it?! Well, you know my old sista Exetel is surely gettin’ her groove on. Shiiiitttt, she be pickin’ up all the boys for some P2P action — if you know what I mean — and then letting them get half-way there and just droppin’ them, blue balls for what they wanted an’ all! And now, and this is so sick!!!; now she’s standing in front of the boys and is blocking them. They wanna go to some place, she just stands there is like “nuh-uh, you ain’t goin’ there if I don’t like what’s there!”

Shiiiiiiiiiittttt, my girl Exetel is da bomb!!!

Or rather, a bomb is what Exetel is becoming.

Making the news this week in two ways for issues customers are pissed with, but not content with just pissing off people in two ways, Exetel have gone for broke and have found a third way to piss people off.

Let me just fill you in in case you’re not aware.

Issue 1: Exetel are cutting P2P bandwidth by approximately half.

First of all, I’m not sure if this is a bad or good thing.

Financially, it makes sense.

Downloads cost Exetel money, and with bittorrent spreading the load in the manner it does as well as making it easier for files to be able to constantly downloaded, I imagine that a lot of people are making a lot of downloads.

That said, cutting the bandwidth in half means that people are still making the downloads… they’re just doing it slower.

And what if people start making an influx of direct file downloaded from say something like an FTP server or an HTTP connection, what then… do Exetel say “well shit, that didn’t work… let’s just halve the amount of connection say an ADSL1 user gets on their 512k connection to 256k… and then you’re paying 512k prices for 256k speeds… and at that point, Exetel are no better than a company enriched in the act of shaping and worse.

Issue 2: Deleted posts and phone support, oh my!

You had a post on the Exetel forum… maybe Whirlpool? You’re sure right? Positive… okay… because sometimes there’s this shit that happens where your post goes missing.

It’s like a glitch, except for that it’s not a glitch in the software, but rather a glitch in human thinking.

Or not thinking as the case may be.

Exetel are getting people’s forum posts deleted which express any outrage or anger that they don’t seem to like.
I mean sure… if it’s your forum, why not inform everyone there and wait for them to come and make a post so you can delete it!

Will you then claim later on that (since you’ve deleted many of the posts expressing outrage at the P2P cuts) that no-one got angry and that it went over reall well?

I’m sure the board of directors aren’t that stupid. Or maybe they are, and this was all worked out by them.
Either way, cutting phone support is about as intelligent as it gets, because of course… your website’s helpdesk is about is informative and up-to-date as the UBD Sydney Street Directory Elephant Edition that’s been printed on the ass of an elephant. Finding one in good and readable condition is about as easy as finding one that hasn’t faded in everyone’s car, especially if they don’t live in Sydney.

Sure, I could lodge a ticket with your help desk. I haven’t tried this yet, mind you… but seeing as how your company seems quite content with denying any and all logic to its customers in relation to how they’re handled, I think right now I’m more content with talking about you in this manner. When you decide to treat me like a human and not a single-celled amoeba, I’ll phone you. I should have the option, not the only choice.

Issue 3: Oh well this is just completely F@#@ed up! Wait… what the–?

In case you don’t actually feel like clicking the link and going through all of the conversation this debacle has brought, I’ll just bring you the text and the debacle from my opinion. Here’s the email:

Exetel has been approached by a legally constituted organisation to become pro-active in the attempts to make it more difficult for users of Exetel’s internet services to commit criminal acts.

Specifically, Exetel is being requested to do everything it might be able to do to restrict user’s of its ADSL1 and ADSL2 and wireless broadband services from accessing sites that allow people to steal copyrighted files, specifically movies,TV shows and music CDs.

Exetel’s current AUP specifically prohibits Exetel users from using its services to commit illegal acts:

“Illegal Use

The Exetel network may not be used for, or as transport for, any illegal activity. This includes but is not limited to; Copyright Infringement, Fraud, Denial of Service attacks and abuse of other networks.

Exetel reserves the right to suspend without prior notice any user�s service that, in its reasonable opinion, is being used for any illegal activity. The matter will then be referred to the appropriate law enforcement agency for further investigation”

We are assuming that no Exetel ADSL1 or ADSL2 or wireless broadband user would ever think of breaching any law and therefore would have no problem with Exetel actively assisting any legally constituted authority with any effort they may be empowered to make to prosecute any person who commits any criminal act.

First of all, who is this legally constituted organisation? Do they have a name, or are they the Imaginary Dangerous Internet Order Trust? I’d hear about those mysterious IDIOT’s who thought they knew better than everyone…

What about that second paragraph? You’re being “requested to do everything it might be able to do to restrict user’s of its ADSL1 and ADSL2 and wireless broadband services from accessing sites that allow people to steal copyrighted files, specifically movies,TV shows and music CDs.” What is everything? You going to hold my hand when I take a piss, too? I’d prefer it if you held something else, honestly.

Seriously, you’re thinking of blocking sites — of censoring sites — because some organisation you won’t name says you should in order to stop a user from getting something.

Someone obviously hasn’t thought this through as… most sites have copyrighted material on them!!! Why not just approve parts of the internet and send them out in a weekly newsletter!

“The Exetel network may not be used for, or as transport for, any illegal activity. This includes but is not limited to; Copyright Infringement, Fraud, Denial of Service attacks and abuse of other networks.” Ok. Fine.
What about abuse of your own network?

Seriously, while I think most of this is to cover their own asses, an issue as hot as this one where they’re approaching the possibility of censorship is going to piss off more users than they can imagine.

Australia is literally in the stone age when it comes to copyright law and media infringement laws.

Australia in the bronze age when it comes to television, movie, music and games releases. We tend to get a ridiculously small portion of the stuff America and the UK get on-time, and a horrendously large portion of the stuff everyone else gets near on time 3-5 years overdue.

Australia is, however, up to date with everyone for telemarketing. We’re not back in time with any of this shit and you can tell we’ve got our priorities straight.

Our priorities are with jobs. Jobs for Australians. In India. Like the rest of the world.